Friday, June 29, 2007

Motivation and Health

Nearing the big 40 I must strive to be healthy and adapt positive outlook in life. Easier said and done. How many times have I went detox, on a diet and then find myself gorging on unhealthy chocolates ( there are healthy chocolates- but a bit difficult to find in malaysia- may be organic shops- or I'd probably resort to making my own cocoa drink) , fast food or even junk food. On time I'd go all organic next time I'd be gorging mamee or- Ferrero Rocher or Nuss- Have you ever tasted this wafer- it is so good.

Anyway, if I can't exactly follow Fat flush at least I'd try to do what she advocate.
1. Drink Lemon in the morning

The value of eating lemons is reported by Jethro Kloss in his book Back to Eden:
“It is an antiseptic, or is an agent that prevents sepsis [the presence of pathogenic bacteria] or putrefaction [decomposition of tissue]. It is also anti-scorbutic, a term meaning a remedy which will prevent disease and assist in cleansing the system of impurities.”
Due to the digestive qualities of lemon juice, symptoms of indigestion such as heartburn, bloating and belching are relieved. By drinking lemon juice regularly, the bowels are aided in eliminating waste more efficiently thus controlling constipation and diarrhea.

Sufferers of chronic rheumatism and gout will benefit by taking lemon juice, also those who have a tendency to bleed, uterine hemorrhages, etc.; rickets and tuberculosis.

In pregnancy, it will help to build bone in the child. We find that the lemon contains certain elements which will go to build up a healthy system and keep that system healthy and well. As a food, we find, owing to its potassium content, it will nourish the brain and nerve cells. Its calcium builds up the bony structure and makes healthy teeth.

“Its magnesium, in conjunction with calcium, has an important part to play in the formation of albumen in the blood. The lemon contains potassium 48.3, calcium 29.9, phosphorus 11.1, magnesium 4.4. Lemons are useful in treating asthma, biliousness, colds, coughs, sore throat, diphtheria, la grippe [flu or influenza], heartburn, liver complaint[s], scurvy, fevers and rheumatism.”

I can attest to how good it is preventing cough. Last week I had teribble sore throat. I was determine not to let it be until I get runny nose or cough. So I drank lemon juice and honey twice a day , vitamin C, put on the revitalisor with essential oils of eucalyptus , tea tree and rose and wala.. by the 4th day I'm cured. No sore throat, no runny nose or cough.

2. Take psyllium husk daily

From the journal of dietic research Canada

There is strong evidence that psyllium has laxative properties and promotes colonie function. There is some indication that psyllium may decrease the glycemic response of foods and, thereby, may help to regulate blood glucose concentrations, possibly aiding in the control of diabetes and decreasing hunger to aid with weight loss and preventing overweight and obesity.

There is also strong evidence to indicate that psyllium decreases serum cholesterol levels and therefore may be helpful in decreasing risk of coronary heart disease. However, while the laxative and cholesterol-lowering properties of psyllium are well established, its role in preventing other colonic diseases and controlling or preventing diabetes and weight gain is less clear.

Bowel movements are the basis of your health. If you don't have at least 1 bowel movement per day, you are already walking your way toward disease.

I haven't been taking this fiber as often as I should. And still have a bit of it in my office and lots at home. I am not a dilligent supplement taker- I always forget. Last week my officemate complained of stomach upset - bloating and pain. I gave her my bit of psyllium that was left in my office. She took it and the next morning felt so good that she wanted to buy some. But of course remember to drink lots

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Birthdays and Fathers Day

First of all I would like to apologise to Helena and Lana for not replying to their comments. Tried to- but everytime I did (when using DH's old hand me down note book) it went illegal operation on me. With the office computer- its banned.

BIL's daughter, dahlia's birthday was on the 12th june, party was held on the 16th. Tried to make her a barbie cake. Wanted to bake on friday and put on the fondant saturday but..Sigh.. Dh wanted to upgrade the home computer when we planned to go to Ampang that night, and when he finished it was half past 11 and we reached ampang around half past twelve- would I bake a cake then- no... So I baked the next day and it was too soft.

Later on I asked him to buy a cake, he bought a 500g cake.. Too small I wailed. and we bought another. Shila- was not my intention to buy two cakes so that I could blow .

Did demo on skincare on shila and her aunty. Thanks Mimi, Shila and Lana for buying the trial set. As of today I have sold three full set ( thanks Ana, Intan and Surya) and 7 trial sets. Reviews good too. My colleagues who has acne claimed, theirs has lessened in just 3 weeks compared to months of using conventional products. Some love the cleanser - its gentle exfoliating properties- stopped pimples from 'maturing'. Some like the softness of the moisturiser but most of them love the rose toner.- like in a garden.

After the birthay party rushed back to Ampang for tahlil.

As of today Abah has left us 113 days. It has not been easy for all of us especially mum. I still dream of him. I miss him so much. For the few weeks after he left us, every single thing that reminded us of him made us cry. My kids cannot hear Because of you by Kelly Clarkson without crying as it was his ringtone and also the background song of the slide of his last photographs with us that DH compiled. Even the song Kenangan terindah made me bawl. We'd try to sedekah alfatihah daily and Yassin weekly. The last tahlil, I sat near the main door, usually I'd sit near the stairs. and I had problem concentrating as I could not help picturing the jenazah, it was where he was placed.

It is not easy losing some one you love. Before this, I couldn't imagine how it feels like. You thought you know how they feel, but it is not the same as actually experiencing it. First you don't want to sleep, then you don't want to wake up. Your heart feels like exploding, your head ache, your tears - well it just go ..

On Saturday 24th February at around 7, we were at Seri Kembangan. We received a phone call from my siblings. Abah sakit kepala- the pain was excrutiating. They were all at Ampang Puteri. Ampang Puteri had given him pain killer but he was still in pain. So they decided to take him to Tawakkal because he had been going there for 10 over years.

We went to Tawakkal . The doctor thought we should wait. But still he was in pain. He started calling all his grandchildren and children. He said he never felt this much pain, and mengucap. We asked the doctor to give him more medication . Dr insisted on asking him whether he was in pain, does he want any medication. My dad didn't answer him. In fact when the doctor asked, he kept quiet. I would imagine if i told someone I'm in pain- would I want to answer questions- here I am with this tremendous pain in my head and after telling someone I'm in pain and I was asked whether I want medication. Someone say the Dr just want some kind of response from him- but asking him the same questions over and over again.We insisted on Cat scan, since everything else looks normal. We asked the dr to call the specialist that he used to see and who put him on t he blood thinning medication . The Specialist was apparently outstation. The CaT scan revealed hemorrhage in brain. Then only he was able to contact the Specialist, who came 20 minutes later. Another nerosurgeon came as well and said that he'd have to do an angiography to detect abnormalities in the blood vessels of the brain. He said he'd have to do it either on Monday or Tuesday as dad was on blood thinning medication. We needed a doctor to scramble the medical jargon and also to oversee the procedures and thought we should transfer him to GH as BIL's a surgeon there. Some of my siblings were reluctant to place him in GH, thinking that we weren't be able to see him because of the visiting hours etc, by BIL assured us that although the visitors may be somewhat inconvenienced, the patient would be diligently taken care of. Still we couldn't decide. The specialist that saw him was one of the best, him being the one who saved once famous singer. One of our uncle said we should let him do the procedure. We couldn't decide, therefore asked Abah. He said GH. So on Sunday morning, he was transferred to GH.

In the evening, he woke up and asked for Mak. I went in as well and updated him on his visitors and we joked. He was ok and little did I know it was the last time I talked to him. Later that evening he was wheeled of to the Xray centre for Angio. Apparently according to my sister, he joked with the nurse and while being wheeled. The Angio went ok and the next coiling, to block the aneurysm. They started the coiling around 10 pm and finished the procedure around four in the morning. Sis Ida and Bro Amy stayed on while I went back with Mum. Mak has high blood pressure and migraine, we had to be careful. The next morning we received a phone call from t he hospital- they had to do an emergency operation. Apparently the coiling was good and the scan shows it was successful but his pupils started to dilate and he did not respond to anything.

By this time he was already in coma, tho we didn't know it at the time. The dr said there was still haemarrhaging although the coil was a success. It must have been a new aneurysm. We felt helpless, the dr said we'd have to wait till he stabilise.

We camped at the ICU ward, fighting guards who insisted that only two visitors can wait at the waiting room outside the ICU. We were not allowed there during non visiting hours and had to sneak in and out to pray or eat. But we had no appetite anyway. I wanted to talk to him but seeing him lying there, I felt so helpless and couldn't speak.

Tuesday still no change, his brain pressure went up, then a dr told us he is in coma. They drained the blood, it looked like old blood - not new. We were confused . Someone later asked me, what's his condition- I told her- dad's in coma- and she said she knew that already. We were the last to know of course. I tried to ask around whether anyone would know if he was asked to recite the syahadah before the procedure. I know everytime I was wheeled of to the Operating Theatre ( 3 ceasarians), the nurses or Dr would always ask me to recite the syahadah- well you'd never know if you'd ever make it. No one knew if this was asked of him.

Wednesday was the hardest day. We almost lost him then. Actually someone told me he was no longer there. Machine supported. We were asked to come in- he was dying. I rallied next to him - mengucap- when I can barely say the words myself, choked up with emotion that I was. It was probably the most heart wrenching moment. An imam was there- I made space for him thinking he would want to say prayer, He went next to Abah say prayer , touched him forehead, hands and legs and said, Jangan lupa bagi tahu awal, nak gali kubur lagi- Don't forget to inform us as soon as possible, we'd have to dug the grave. Imagine my horror- here we are so consumed by grief and being reminded by the Imam not to inconvenient him.

After awhile his blood pressure stabilise, although his brain pressure was way too high. We talked to him about his grandchildren. My Dr aunty said hearing is the last thing to go. So we talked to him. His heart beat went up a few times. His eyes watered. Someone said this is not possible but we were hopeful. Felda arranged a sembahyang Hayat at Perdana.

I went back to the hospital around 5am. I told Abah- Pukul 5 pagi sekarang Abah and noticed his heartbeat went up. We were asked several time to leave as they had to tidy the area. I had an earful from someone who said he was gone completely only supported by machine . He thought the Sembahyang Hajat was a waste of time and he didn't know why the Dr hook up the machine as long as they did. I was so completely crushed and devastated that I ran to the Surau and called my aunty. I told her if it was time for him to go, I don't want to be selfish. I know if he got through he'd be a vegetable. Him being such an active person- play golf everyday- he once told Mak, if it was time for him to go he wants it to be quick.
I then phone my Dr aunty and asked her, if he was really dead and that what we saw yesterday, his eyes water, his heartbeat went up at certain words..was it all our imagination. Mak a said, it is all in the hands of god. Clinically that is how it is. But we never know - god's will.
by that time I thot I had cried all my tears out.

At around 10, the nurse told me he was nazak. Phoned Ida, who went to get something, called the family. One look at him I knew he was on his way. His skin was palour, the shade was different, his mouth changed. I was determine to recite the shahadah. This time around I was perhaps ready- or probably because I have spent the whole morning crying, I rallied on until his last breath.

I went back with him with the jenazah car to the house and later on to the burial ground, determined to be near him until the last moment. We kissed him when they opened his face at Ampang. Later on we kissed him again before burial at Linggi. And he looked so peaceful it was as if he was smiling. More broadly in Linggi. The Ustaz was against -burying him in linggi- jenazah tersiksa moving it so much but it was his wishes to be buried there.

I love you Abah- Al Fatihah - Semoga Abah berada dengan Orang2 Yang Beriman.

Someone said she thought I would be affected the most as I was closest to my dad. How do you gauge how affected someone is. If another person fell ill while grieving and another did not , is that the measure of how affected you are. My mum didn't cry at the funeral, is she less affected. I don't think so, because when she's alone she'd hear his voice, when in the room she smelled his perfume. People have different way of grieving.

Dr. Robert G. White, a renowned neurosurgeon, is one of many scientists and physicians who, through their research, came to the conclusion that human beings did not just come together, but are the handiwork of an All-Knowing Creative Genius.
He writes, "I am convinced that the brain is the repository of the human spirit, the soul…for me, the practice of medicine and religious faith are inextricably interwoven. I pray a great deal, especially before and after surgery. I find prayer satisfying. I feel there are immense resources behind me, resources I need and want….
"Yet the notion that human life is nothing more than a chance confluence of complex molecular biology and electrical activity strikes me as a deviance of logic….I have to believe all this had an intelligent beginning, that Someone made it happen. I cannot accept the proposition that, at random points in time, such substantial entities as intelligence, personality, memory, and the human body just sort of fell together.
"I also find it unreasonable to suppose that, at brain death, those powerful entities of intelligence, personality, and memory simply cease to exist. Far more reasonable [is] to believe that the essence of us escapes from a container, the brain, which no longer is capable of supporting us, and finds support in a new dimension.
As to what becomes of the essence of us at brain death, I cannot presume even to speculate. I can only say that logic leads me inescapably to faith--faith that the uniqueness, the individuality, of the human being lives on in this concept we call the soul."
R.G. White, M.D. Thoughts of a Brain SurgeonReaders Digest October, 1978

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Magic of the Rainbow

OnSunday,10th June, we decided to go to Ikano to see Ellina, Barbie magic of the Rainbow. We missed the show the last time on account of reaching Ikano at 3.30. I thot I timed it well, we'd reached at Ikano at 3 but Dh had other plans- we had to go to Sri kembangan and a few aother stops and by the time we reached Ikano, it was 3.30 and Ellina being so punctual that she was, had left. This time around we had to take kakak and adik from Nini's at Ampang by the time we left Ampang it was 2.30. I insisted that we use the gombak way and reached there with 10 minutes to spare. So when Ellina went up the stage, I asked Qistina to go up. And the emcee asked her if she was no 3. Apparently they gave out numbers . Kesian my little girl. Qistina then had her arms "tatooed " on with sprinkles.

Luckily there was another session at 6, so we went to Borders and went there back around 5. By that time the queue was already long. At around 15 to 6, only the queue started to move. Kesian the girls- I bought them smoothies and magazines to read. The girls were no 28. Qistina couldn't wait to go up.

They had a dressing contest and asked around a few questions on the movie. One question was asked and only kakak put up her hands but the emcee couldn't see her and changed the question.

They went up the stage, posed with Elina and was given a signed drawn picture of Barbie , Ellina from the Magic of the rainbow.

Of course I couldn't help comparing it with Disney channels Cheetah girl's but then that was a one day thing and perhaps they have bigger budget then Ikano. The most important thing is the girls are happy.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Tagged by Dad of Four

Sorry Haq, So late response to the tag. For some weird reason I can post my blog but can't see the publish post at work-its blocked. Problem at home I can view but can't post photos sigh, and lately with DH's hand me down laptop, I can't surf the net. Now I'm using his new laptop.

ok enough the tag
PROPOSITION : What is the meaning of your kid'(s) name(s)?
REQUIREMENTS : Write about what or how or why you gave the name(s) to your kid(s).
QUANTITY: 5 people
TAG MODE: Firstly you leave their blog and post link and add to the list below and secondly you let the blogger you want to tag know that he/she has been tagged by commenting in his/her blog or etc

1. Camillia- Flower, Pure

From the flower Camelia and also the Arabic world Kamil- Meaning Pure.
I chose the name as I like it. And DH agreed. He decide that the name should begin with c.

2. Camarina- ( Qamar) - moon

Actually I wanted Adriana-meaning-scale or something. I didn't want my kids to be stuck with an alphabet but DH vetoed it and picked out the name. Camarina first said she did not like her name, she prefers it to mean flower not moon.Too late. I told her that without the moon the night would dark and the is a rose called bluemoon and it smells heavenly ( we found at Cameron) and now she's ok with her name
2. Cqistina- justice
We wanted either Qaisara or Qistina. Later on agreed after DH pointed out it'll be similar to SIL Shila's No2's. When he came back from the Registration department I found C infront of her name. Dh wanted to maintain the C so Cqistina it is. I have to teach to tell everyone tha C is silent.

wait and see lor!!!***
msau the meaning of SQ and Kiki
shopping mum the meaning of Justin and Isabelle
Judy Chow Terry
Shannon Rachel
Samm Gordon and Malcolm
Sasha lil J
Mott 2 Monkeys
Fatty Poh's Fatty Boy
D Abg Z Abg H Princess & Litle D
DadofFour Siti Khadijah, Muhammad Yusof, Siti Kauthar, Muhammad Ibraheem and Muhammad Umar
Minahsongeh Camillia, Camarina, Cqistina
Now, who shall I tag? Here goes...

Lana- well child to be

Pure Flower Organic skincare

I finally have my own range of skincare.

You know I fussy I am on what I use on my face or body. I 'd scrutinise the ingredients on labels of skincare. Anything with parabens, sodium lauryl or Laureth Sulfate,Diazolidinyl urea,TEA, Formaldehyde, Mineral Oils I'd avoid. Scientists find common cosmetic ingredients in human tissues, like industrial plasticizers called phthalates in urine, preservatives called parabens in breast tumor tissue, and persistent fragrance components like musk xylene in human fat and some of these chemicals are banned in EU.

When I couldn't find anything here I'd buy them from US or I'd resort to milk for cleanser, cucumber and carrot for toner honey , oat and yogurt, pineapple/papaya for mask and homegrown aloe vera for moisturiser but their shelf life is short, making them once a week ok jugak but once in 3-4 days, hassle jugak. Now you can find natural bodycare from I Green- but I have to go to certain pharmacies or organic shops, the one in the jin bertendang area where my house is certainly doesn't sell- well one did but after a while had to return the products to the manufacturer as no one actually buys them- In Ampang I hear they are selling'em like hot cakes.

Organic skincare perse, you can only find at Organic shops like Justlife ( I love visiting the shop -esp at USJ my fav haunt). they are all imported - from either Australia and New Zealand. And they are expensive.

Reading about aromatherapy and its benefit spurred me. Apparently Aromatherapy had been around for 6000 years or more. The Greeks, Romans, and ancient Egyptians all used aromatherapy oils. The Egyptian physician Imhotep recommended fragrant oils for bathing, massage, and for embalming their dead nearly 6000 years ago. The modern era of aromatherapy is dawned in 1930 when the French chemist Rene Maurice Gattefosse coined the term aromatherapy for the therapeutic use of essential oils. He was fascinated by the benefits of lavender oil in healing his burned hand without leaving any scars. He started investigating the effect of other essential oils for healing and for their psychotherapeutic benefits.

During world war II, the French army surgeon Dr. Jean Valnet used essential oils as antiseptics. Later, Madame Marguerite Maury elevated aromatherapy as a holistic therapy. She started prescribing essential oils as remedy for her patients. She is also credited with the modern use of essential oils in massage.Studies with brain wave frequency has shown that smelling lavender increases alpha waves in the back of the head, which are associated with relaxation. Fragrance of Jasmine increases beta waves in the front of the head, which are associated with a more alert state.Scientific studies have also shown that essential oils contain chemical components that can exert specific effects on the mind and body.

After reading so many books and properties on essential oils , carrier oils and books on formulation- Pure flower is born.

Actually I'd like to use Pur Fleur- (pronounce as pour fler ( rhyme with blur?)) means the same thing but in French- you know how I am fascinated with the language- I have linguaphone in my house- still gathering dust tho- flipped it thru before we went to Paris a few years back. But I have fear pronouncing the word- macam tergeliat lidah- I have to ask someone who knows the language.

Scouting for the ingredients- Well the carrier oils have to be Organic or Wildcrafted, Cold pressed and Unrefined to be therapeutic. No pesticide , chemical fertilizer, synthetic fragrance, bleach, chemical laden, hexane expressed oil.
The Essential oils have to be Organic and Steam Distilled not solvent extracted. Herbs used has to be organic too.

Here is the brochure

Pure Flower Organic
Is formulated using the purest ingredients found. Organic flowers and herbs- calendula, lavender, horsetail, organic or wildcrafted cold pressed organic oils – some oils in the industry are extracted using solvent, steam distilled essential oils (not solvent extracted) and hydrosol are used to ensure the purity of the product. No chemicals or fillers are used.

Flower Cleanser/Scrub and Mask

Ingredients: Organic Calendula,Organic Lavender Petals, Organic Horsetail, Kaolin Clay, Organic almond Meal org oats, Organic lavender, rose, Manuka Essential Oils.

This product can be used as cleanser/scrub and mask.
It is gentle, exfoliating the skin without stripping its oil mantle.
To use as cleanser, mix with water or Rose Toner. For dry skin, mix with milk.
As mask leave it on for twenty minutes.

Pure Flower Organic

Rose Toner

Ingredients: Organic Steam Distilled Bulgarian Rosa Damascena Hydrosol.

The toner is refreshing and calming. It is suitable for all skin especially sensitive skin.
Please store in dark cool place or refrigerate

Pure Flower Organic Skincare
Flower Moisturiser

Ingredients: Wild Unrefined Sheabutter, Organic Cold pressed Grapeseed oil, Organic Calendula infused in organic Grapeseed oil, Squalane, Organic Rosa Damascena, lavender, manuka Essential Oil, vitamin E

The moisturiser is handcrafted using the finest base and essential oils. The oils are chosen for their healing properties . It is suitable for all skin type.

Organic Calendula Petals

Calendula's regenerative properties help skin problems- such as stubborn wounds, sores, acne, ulcers, bed sores, varicose veins, bruises, rashes, eczema. It intensifies the metabolism of glycoproteins, nucleoproteins and collagen during the healing process.

Photo from

Organic Lavender Petals and Essential Oil
Lavender works well in the treatment of acne, eczema, dermatitis, fungus, burns and wounds. It makes a refreshing astringent as well as an effective Skin Care moisturizer. Lavender helps support a calm composure and reduces irritability, apprehension, stress, nervous tension, insomnia, nightmares, and is balancing to the psyche as well as the body

Organic Horsetail Herb

This herb is often used for its healing properties because it assists in breaking down deposits in the tissues, whilst being an excellent diuretic and boosting both circulation and the rejuvenation of connective tissue, as the bio-minerals contained are required for the different steps of collagen and elastin biosynthesis. Prepares skin for better absorption of a moisturizer

Photo taken from
Kaolin Clay
Kaolin is a natural claylike mineral (silicate of aluminum) and is composed of silica, iron, magnesium, calcium, sodium, zinc and other minerals. This white powder is soluble and has excellent absorbent qualities. These qualities are used to draw out impurities and toxins as they are electromagnetic and thereby clear the skin of excess oil, dirt, pollutions and other waste materials.

Organic almond meal
Almond meal is used in many skin care preparations such as scrubs, masks and cleansers. When finely powdered, almonds gently exfoliate (remove dead skin) the skin without being harsh.

Organic Oat
Oat meal is of great benefit to the skin and has been successfully used for increasing the general health of the skin as well as the treatment of skin problems and disorders such as acne, pimples, blemishes, eczema, dermatitis, shingles and herpes.

Organic Steam distilled Rose Essential Oil/hydrosol
Rose oil is cooling, relaxing and toning increases feelings of vitality, creating a sense of well-being. Rose can also be used in the treatment of skin problems. Its rejuvenating properties relieve dryness, inflammation, heat and itching of the skin.

Photo from

Wildcrafted Unrefined shea butter
Shea butter contains cinnamic acid, which protects the skin against the harmful UV rays of the sun. Shea butter has been known to work well against stretch marks. Shea butter benefits those suffering dry skin, dermatitis and sunburn. Vit A in shea butter improve blemishes, wrinkles and eczema, treat skin allergies ,insect bites and sunburns. Vit E -antiageing. Vitamin F works as a rejuvenator. Rough and chapped skin is soothed and healed. Shea butter penetrates the skin easily and does not clog the pores.

Organic Cold pressed Grapeseed oil
It has mildly astringent qualities which help to tighten and tone the skin, which makes it useful for acne and other skin complaints. Grapeseed oil is purported to have regenerative and restructuring virtues.

Squalane boosts the skin's ability to naturally regenerate, nourish, hydrate, oxygenate and protect itself. It helps to prevent the formation of brown age spots and can protect against the radiation of the sun. In this regards it is a major oil for preventing skin aging

Manuka Essential Oil
Manuka is anti-viral, anti-fungal and highly bactericidal across a wide spectrum. It also reduces pain and swelling, helps to shrink enlarged pores.